misshermes

2008-05-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

Once again, I've changed my blog. xD Or should I say, I registered a dotcom. xD xD Sadly, it's still under construction. Eheheheh.

www.misshermes.com

2008-05-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

I really am sick, ain't I? Yaoi's already bad enough, and now I'm reading manga about adults who are lolicons.... Eeekkk... xD xD Somehow, reading about guys doing it with girls really disgust me. Who do the guys think girls are? Playthings? And the girls, initially saying no, after doing it a few times just give in to it... Wtf... How cheap. That's why I'd rather read about guys doing it with guys. LMAO. Their love seems somehow more pure. Ahahahahahahahaha.

I'm leaving for camp tomorrow and won't be back till Monday... o______O How am I going to survive without my computer and internet? Nnnnooooooooo...!!!

I got... 79 for Ekonomi Asas.... Wth... I just need one more mark to get 80~!!! According to teacher, it's already A1 but still, I don't like leaving things hanging like that. I know I should be thankful for the marks since I didn't even bother to study even on the day before the exam, but...... I'm still pissed, somehow. As for BM, I think I'm getting 68. -_________- Blahhhh... Whatever. My BM sucks anyway. I'll just go for tuition next year.

Anime, manga, anime, manga... I stayed up till 4am last night to read Ouran.... Lol... And woke up at 6am to watch yaoi and stuff... Gosh, I'm sleep deprived........ It has been almost 2 years since I've sneaked down to play the computer after sleeping hours. The last time I did that was around form 2 when I was still a super game addict.

And and, I must declare my love for both Hikaru & Kaoru~!!! After reading the newer chapters of Ouran, I've succumbed to the twins' charms yet again. And I'm in love with even Kaoru now. I used to like Hikaru only but after reading about how he sacrificed his love for Haruhi just for Hikaru.............. I fell in love. The both of them are teh awesomeness! Choose them Haruhi! Don't choose Tamaki!!!! Even though I love Tamaki too but the twins are just......... More pitiful somehow. x_________x

2008-05-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

My exams are FINALLY OVER. Yes~!!!!!!! I'm free, free, free! Not that I studied anyway but still, I'm free! Because I spent last night watching yaoi and stuff, I'm probably going to fail my Accounts paper. *sigh* I want to drop that subject next year. My mum said I could drop anything I want. She doesn't really bother about my studies anymore. Lols.

Anyways, the holidays are coming! I have nothing much planned other than the B&P Conference camp thingy and the trip to Genting. I can't go to Amanda's bbq party because my grandpa is having an eye operation at that time. I can't wait for the holidays! I can have a yaoi marathon and watch yaoi 24 hours till my eyes bleed. xD

Waiting for my dad to come back home before I can register my own website. It's for my cosplay & lolita stuff I guess. And also to spam pics of my baby when she arrives. <3 xD

I'm still waiting for my yukata, Aria's wig, and my new lolita dress. T^T I don't like the one I ordered anymore. LOL. It's because I saw someone wear it as a pirate lolita and made it look weird. Aiks. I shouldn't have ordered it.

I have a new family! Which means, a new name. Lols. My family name ish 'Cruxnoire' which means black cross and my full name ish Hermes Juliette Cruxnoire. I decided to keep the 'Hermes' there so that people could recognize me. I just love changing names. It's an addiction. Ahahahahahaha.

I need 48 hours in a day. 24 is not enough for me. Do you know how much anime and manga is still waiting to be read? And I haven't even started on Air Gear! At least I finished 193 chapters of Katekyo Hitman Reborn. KHR is absolute love! It's my most fav anime EVER!!! The guys are all extremely hot and the storyline does not bore me either. Other than Skip Beat, KHR is the 2nd manga that I was willing to chase so many chapters for.

Many cosplay plans to do for this year but I don't have money!!! 2 costumes plus wig already costs me rM1000+... And I'm planning to do at least 4-5 cosplays this year which will amount to another RM2000-3000. *sigh* I should just do cheap cosplays like Ouran or Vampire Knight. But... I like grand cosplays... @______@

Lalalalalalaaa~ I know I'm not the best cosplayer in the world, but I've just started cosplay for gawd's sake. Of course I'll make mistakes and stuff. Just because you're a veteran doesn't mean you have to be all cocky about it. Sheesh.

2008-05-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. My brain has been fried from the exams. Form 4 really is a nightmare. In addition to that, I have to put up with so much shit in my life. Zzzz.

Is it really wrong to spend money so recklessly, I wonder? I know, I know, people are dying of starvation and such, and here I am, buying stuff like there's no tomorrow. *sigh* But I always believed that I might end up dead tomorrow. So, I'd rather spend my days doing stuff that I actually like. Life's unpredictable. I don't want to end up dying, regretting that I didn't manage to do this or that, buy this or that. That would have really sucked. I might end up going to hell and be burned for all eternity, so might as well enjoy as much as possible right now.

If you ask me, do I believe in God? I would probably have answered 'I don't know'. Out of all the religions there is, if I was to pick one, I'd pick Christianity since it makes the most sense to me. Still, I just can't believe in half of the things they are saying. If God created the world in 7 days, and humans together, then who made the dinosaurs that existed a few million years before humans did? And if God created the dinosaurs, why wasn't it stated in the bible? Or were they part of the animals that Adam named? And having complete faith in something, that is not a thing I can ever do when I don't even believe in myself. So, what should I do? If there really is Hell, I don't ever want to go there. But I'm sinning too much as it is right now.

Is cosplaying a sin? Doing a character just because it's cool, etc etc. Is that wrong? Many other people are doing the same thing in this world. I cosplay characters, why? I don't know myself. When I did Akito, I really really liked him. I liked him so much that I watched Air Gear more than 10 times in a week just to stare at his cute face. *laughs* But after that, all the other characters that I plan to do, Akira, Aria... Maybe I did it because of their costumes. I just like nice costumes. As much as I love wedding dresses. Lols. I want to do cosplays of wedding dresses a lot, but....... I think it's rather extreme for Malaysians when cosplay ain't even accepted yet. @________@

You know... I don't spend as much anymore. My PMR reward money, it took me 4 months before I even decided to buy a bjd. To me, it was rather a waste to spend it. I like keeping collections of stuff. But, I've already wanted a dod since the beginning of last year.... You people in my class last year know right? I printed out so many doll pictures and stared at them the whole day during classes. Lmao. Then again, once I start spending, I GO BERSERK. That's why I bought 3 whole outfits for the dod as well as shoes & stuff even when I haven't received the doll. *sigh* The remaining money I have now, maybe I should dump it in my trust fund before I start going crazy again. There are many things I'm still itching to buy. Urghh. Compared to last time when I spent every single cent I have whenever I have money, this is already an improvement.

I'm rather sick of everything in my life right now. I'm sick of the me that can never change for the better, sick of being a student, sick of being with people even. I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Friendship is so fragile don't you think? It breaks so easily. 10 years of being best friends, will it go down the drain? Hahahahahahahahaha... I really don't know. The truth is, I don't really feel like talking to you right now or anytime soon for that matter. Besides, you declared war first. You were the one who decided not to reply. So don't blame me or cry or anything like that time in form 2 kay? You've changed a lot in the past few years but this year, I think you've changed the most. It's not only me who noticed. Even people who weren't close to you told me the same thing. Do you really want attention that badly? Someone told that to me you know. I didn't think you were that kind of person but..... Sometimes it does seem that way. She told me you spoke in that squeaky high-pitched voice during EAK to get attention. Then in japanese class, you do the same. I know that's not your real voice. So why do you keep using it? I really don't get you. It's like we're from different worlds right now. Maybe I've changed too. Maybe I've become someone spiteful and hateful in your eyes. It's okay. Lots of people think I'm that way. They think I'm arrogant and hard to approach, etc etc. I'm used to those kind of stuff.

2008-05-06T02:28:00.000-07:00

Like... Oh my god I need chapter 3 of Kuroshitsuji! -______- They came out till chapter 15 in Japan already and they've only scanlated chapter 2 of the english versions so far. Gawd. Worse come to worse I'll resort to reading the french scans. At least they finished the scanlations for volume 1. But then again........ My french is lousy. Wait, is the scans even in french? I don't know. It's still downloading. I got them from a french website though... Let's hope it's not the japanese raws or I'll be like dead. I don't even pay attention in japanese class. Katakana and hiragana makes me sleepy. Aiks.

Yes, yes, I know my midterms are coming. You don't have to constantly remind me you know. I even got the timetable already. Sheesh. I tried to study lor ok. I read a few paragraphs about Pemborong yesterday and end up today they say not coming out. See! Waste my time only. Lucky I haven't finish reading the whole chapter. Make me lose my mood to study. xD Not like I have one, but still.

I'm in love with another guy character. Ahahahaha. His costumes are just the most awesomenest ever! I demand to cosplay him!!! But I know I don't look good as a guy. Sigh. Ah well. I'll still do him. So there. Lmao. He's like... A typical ouji. <3

Lalalalalalalalala~~ I'm bored I tell ya. B.O.R.E.D. My life is really boring right now.

Hopefully I'll be able to go to the digital arts exhibition in mid valley this weekend. I wanna see kidchan! No, actually I want to see roxanne. @__________@ I didn't even know she was going till my friend who is a BOY told me. Lol. Even guys admire roxanne. Hahahahaha.

I hv to figure out how to use photoshop soon. I mean for the more 'pro' stuff. My mum's pc has adobe photoshop cs3 already. Mine still cs2. Gahhh... I wanna learn how to photoshop eye colour! Then I won't have to buy coloured contact lenses for cosplay. Weeeeeeee~~

2008-05-04T07:14:00.000-07:00

Whooo~ It's been quite a while. Well, life was sorta hectic these few days so I really didn't have time to post anything.

First of all, my mum was admitted into the hospital. It's nothing serious, it's just that she has been having fever for the past 10 days and never got better. But... She should be coming home tomorrow. I guess. :(

Second of all, I went to a basketball match last Friday with my family (minus my mum). Well, the only reason we went there was because 1. The sponsor of the phillipenes team was a customer of my dad's company. 2. I was bored and had nothing to do. The match was ehrmm.. For teens or something. I forgot. It was between a few countries. Anyways, I just sat there the whole night snapping pictures. I got a few okay-okay shots. Nothing that I'm proud of, but it's okay. Too lazy to post them up though. xD There are like... Quite a lot? And no, no cute guys there. Lols. The Phil ppl are like, so semangat! They filled up a whole bleacher and were cheering with all their might. Phil was fighting against Thailand tht day and Thai didn't even have much people cheering for them. How sad. xD And obvoiusly, Phil won. DUH. Ahahahaha. Cheering for other countries. I'm such a betrayer. Well, it's not like I care much about Malaysia anyways. They lost to Phil on Thu. Too bad I didn't watch the match or I would have died laughing. I laughed a lot watching the match too. I dunno why. What is wrong with me?!? :D But seriously, basketball is way cooler than football. They should build a bigger stadium for basketball in Malaysia!!!

Then on Saturday, I went to my grandma's house to celebrate my granddad's birthday. Nothing much to say, but I did talk to my cousin and aunt a bit. Suprisingly. Lol. Since I'm anti-social towards my relatives most of the time anyway. My cousin was like asking were there any hot guys in the basketball team. xD xD Asking me to 'share' and stuff. ROFL. My cousin is prettier than I am. Sigh. I hate myself more whenever I look at her. Everyone's like telling me she's so gorgeous and stuff. Self-esteem sinking. Ahahahaha.

And today~~ I went to KL Tower's Seri Angkasa restaurant for lunch. Why? Because it's the Phil boss's birthday and he wanted to have it there. Altogether, there were around 70+ people celebrating with him. The Phil basketball team, their families, his family, the team's coaches, plus my family and my dad's business partner's family. Speaking of the Phil team, do you know they had at least EIGHT coaches with them? And there was even one coach from America. Wahliao. So pro. And they're only the Under-16 team. The food at Seri Angkasa was rly lousy. The only good thing about it was the view. And DESSERT. Omg, I was screaming 'moe' in my heart when I saw it. Those cute, adorable, moe cakes and pastries. I went crazy and snapped so many bloody pics of it. So kawaii!!!! Kyaaaa!! And of course I help snapped pics of the team and stuff. Then one of the dudes asked for my email so I could send the pics to them. When I gave it to him, they were all like, Wow, so morbid. Hahahahaha. I need to change my email soon. I've been getting that alot when ppl ask for my email. I was 12 when I made it!! And in my emo phase!!! xD xD xD I love Jay & Sage, uncle Jun's kids (the Phil boss). They are so cute. Sadly, they're only 10 and 12. Then again, I'm a shotacon so it doesnt matter. Kukukuku. And...... Uncle Jun is super rich. His house last time, which was his dad's, had around 50-100 rooms. No, I'm NOT exagerating. They had to use the PA system when they want to talk to one another because there were too many rooms. Wow, imagine if I lived in a house like that. It'll be so awesome!!! But he moved to a smaller house after he got married. Same size like our house now. Why? Because he got fed up of living in such a huge mansion. Gahhh... I wanna see that house. I've never seen a house with over 50 rooms before. @________@

That concludes what happened the past few days. That's all. It's back to school tomorrow. Urghhhh. I hate school. Yuck yuck yuck.

2008-04-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

I felt really horrible today. I wanted to hit someone. Or maybe, I even wanted to murder that person. I felt the hatred course through my body and I've never felt so much hate for a person my entire life. You don't have to know who it is or why I feel that way because it's irrelevant. Lols. It's not like the person murdered my family or anything, I don't even know why I feel that way in fact. I just feel so. That's all.

And I was already feeling pissed, when Komathe irritated me even more. What the fuck is wrong with her?!? She randomly hits me during class for no reason, randomly calls my name and goes 'Hi Chan', wakes me up when I'm sleeping in class.... etc etc etc. And it's not once or twice either. Noooo, it has to happen EVERY SINGLE DAY. Gawd, as if I'm not irritated enough as it is. And today when she smacked me, I glared at her and said 'Stop it'. Then she was like telling her friend in tamil that I'm angry or something. Who the hell wouldn't get angry if people hit them for nothing? And it hurts too. Damn it. Well, the only comfort is that she does it to other people too. At least I'm not the only one irritated by her.

I suck at making friends. *laughs* Maybe it's because of my attitude. I don't dare to talk to people I don't know. I'm too shy to even speak. But then, even if I made friends, sometimes I'd just distance myself from them for no reason. What's wrong with me? I don't know......

Mid-terms. Again. Sigh. Don't want to talk about it already. Even if I said I want to study, the truth is I don't. I just want to laze around my whole life. That's the absolute truth. Full stop.

Some people don't even believe me when I say I don't study or go to tuition. Like, why would I lie about something pathetic like that? If I don't study, I say I don't. It's that simple. Why do I want to be like those kiasu people who studies 24 hours a day but tells everybody they don't study so that even if their results turn out bad, they'll just say they're not prepared? Isn't that just lame?

I'm lonely. :( I haven't found anyone who can fill up this emptiness in me. My friends can't fill it up, my family can't fill it up, doing anything doesn't fill it up... *sigh* I want to change schools sometimes. Start over. A brand new life. But I'm already in form 4. It'll be a hassle to get my certs and everything if I change schools now. Zzz.

I'm waiting. Waiting. Waiting. How long must I wait for you? Maybe when you finally arrive, the void in my heart will be filled.

Everybody thinks I'm crazy for spending so much money on a dumb ****. But it's not dumb! It's gorgeous and lovely, and besides, so many people have it. In Singapore almost everybody owns one. So there. Blehhh.

2008-04-29T05:44:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . USD677.20 down the drain. Goodbye my VM & MM one-piece... Farewell my Innocent World parasol... Au revoir my Alice & the Pirates bag... I can't afford to buy you anymore.

Now, the waiting begins. *fidgets*

2008-04-29T03:02:00.000-07:00

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles Tokyo Revalations was just... Awesome. I didn't really watch season 1 and 2, but I bought these 3 episodes on a whim when I was in Hiro Comic World. Well, it's hard to leave an anime shop empty-handed right? xD I cried at the end. *sob* I can't tell you what happened, because I know how people hate spoilers, (just like how Bowie spoiled the Fruits Basket ending for me... sob sob) so I'll just say that it was EPIC~! And I just love Sakura's outfits... Maybe I'll watch the rest of the episodes, since it's starting to interest me. Ahahaha.

Then again.... My midterms are almost here. And what am I doing? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'll probably fail and everyone in my class will finally know that 1. I am not some kind of genius and 2. I can fail too. Which will probably end up making me cry like shit. I remembered the time I almost flunked SENI. I cried so badly that my tears wouldn't stop. And yes, I cried in class. Where everyone could see me. Aaaahhhh... Those were the days. I remembered I never cried in school once, in primary school, but ever since I got into secondary school, my emotions have been a whirling turmoil. I cried when I got 50+ for dunno which subject, I cried when I got dunno 50-60+ for another subject..... Omg, what is wrong with me? It was my fault for not studying anyways.

School... School... I wanted to post something about school today, but I somehow forgot what it was. Ahahaha. I love Puan Nor/Nur/Noor or however her name is spelt. She's the coolest Accounts teacher ever~! Okay, my 1st accounts teacher. Nonetheless, it's just awesome to learn under her. Today she was making snide comments over the 'mat rempits' that were making noise with their motorcycles and disrupting our lessons. xD Ohohohoho. Somehow, I think her mind and mine is almost alike in ways of thinking. *snickers*

I wish someone would slap me and forceme to study, but I havent found anyone doing that yet. And my mum keeps tempting me with the darn computer. Lols. I know, I know. It's my fault for going online and reading mindless manga. But... but... but... I can't help it! I have no willpower!

I still believe that good-looking cosplayers make the best cosplayers. Yes, I'm being very unfair on this matter, but I know thousands of people think the same way. Of course you'd go gaga over hot bishie looking girls who looks so good as the bishounen that they're cosplaying that you wouldn't even notice the less good-looking ones at the side right? Haha. Mind you, I said girls. Because I have this mindset in my mind that guys don't look as good as girls even when they dress up as guys. Lol. Maybe there are some... But... Most of the good-looking bishie ones are all girls. *laughs* This is what you get when you keep me in an all girl's school for 11 years!

Seriously, one of our teachers commented on this. She said that girls from girl schools aren't really like girls. We're all... Rough and stuff... Sitting however way we like, with our skirts open and see-able under the table... etc etc. Hahahahahaha. She says we have no shame. But what is there to be shameful about? We're all girls, it's not like we'd care... And the good thing about being in a girl school is that we all change our clothes in the classrooms! No going to the icky smelly toilets. Yay us. xD There are only 2 male teachers in our school I think... And other than the guards, I don't think there are any more males. As for my primary school, all the teachers were females! So of course we'd... Be more... Ehrmm... Relaxed? Lols. Heck, you can hear all the **** and *** words almost everywhere. Especially in the science stream classes. Why do I know that? Because my friends are all in the science stream.

I know now that girls are scary. Especially those from girl schools. xD xD So beware everybody. Or we'll PAWN you. Kekekekekeke.

2008-04-27T01:22:00.000-07:00

Lalalalalala~ I stayed up till 4am last night reading Desire Climax. My eyes burnnn... x_____X

The yukata I ordered had a hole in it, so the supplier asked me to change to another design. *cries* I really liked that yukata design! But there was only one for each design so....... Sob. I bought 2 kanzashi hairslips and a ribbon comb for my hair. My yukata isn't even ordered yet and I already ordered those stuff. Crap. Both of them plus my kinchaku, is all yellow. So... I'll have to buy a yellow yukata. But.... I dunno which one to choose. @_______@

Oh yeah, go visit http://onigirifactory.blogspot.com. It's where I bought my kinchaku and kanzashi and ribbon comb. ^^ All the stuffies there are really adorable.

My head hurts. Yesterday I've been driving myself up the wall, looking and looking at so many doll items....... I was in a rush to choose so that when my dad gets home tomorrow, I can order them already. Still... Am I being too rash in this? Because...I really want a Mary Magdalene & Victorian Maiden one-piece~! And also that totally awesome Alice & the Pirates bag... But the black one is sold out. *cries* If the brown one is sold out too, I'll really cry. Darn.

Woohoo... The mid-terms are coming. I'm ssssssssoooooooo excited! Yeah. Right. I'm gonna die. Die, I tell you. DIE!!!!

Ahhh... My fan-fic novel. I only wrote one chapter then I got stuck. Writer's block. *sigh* This is what happens when I just write the first things that come to mind without even thinking about the storyline first! But then again, it's just fan fiction. My friend asked me to put it in the school magazine this year. Swts. Many ppl said they liked the story I wrote for last year, so I was really happy. xD A few even said they cried. Waiiiii... Ureshi! But... After re-reading it multiple times, I start to think the whole story sucks like hell. I need to improve more. But how?

Speaking of that, I just remembered I have to do a report on Hare Anugerah Cemerlang with another girl. Shit. I wasn't paying attention. Then what should I write? Arggghhhhh... Pressure. We only got a miserable RM30 for straight As in our PMR. The UPSR students got RM100. Where is the justice?!?

Every girl in the world wants to be beautiful and look pretty. I understand that feeling. We're not all Eva Longorias or Jennifer Annistons, but I believe all humans are beautiful in their own way, right? (I suddenly sound so fake xD) I want to be beautiful too, for the special someone that I'll eventually meet one day. (Omg, this is like a soap opera) So everybody, let's work hard to become beautiful people! (Wth am I saying?)

I'm sprouting random nonsense cause my brain is fried. Woohoo.

2008-04-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

Lol. I saw the j-rock kingdom forums and they pissed me off. First of all, at least do some research before opening a forum for goodness sake. The admin himself/herself got stuff wrong. Lolita is NOT cosplay, so why start a topic in the cosplay section? And also the one about asking which of the disgusting i-socks models are the nicest looking. That's not cosplay either! As for the girl who called bjds as gothic and lolita dolls or something like that....? WTF... It's good that there were problems with me registering an account there or I would have flamed the whole topic already... Zzzzzzz...

I'm not acting like a know-it-all here, after all I had been naive and ignorant once, and suffered the consequences. I was scolded too, and adviced on many things that I rashly said about the lolita fashion when I just started. I accepted the advice, did lots of studying, and learned many new things. So, you guys out there who are still ignorant, please DO some research on the particular topic you are posting on.

Thanks to you, 'dear' Farzana, now no one is allowed to bring birthday cakes to school to celebrate anymore. Are you happy now? For bringing such a disgusting and vulgar cake to school. First of all, you're a girl for goodness sake. Bringing a cake shaped like a girl's bust, with a half-bra and nipples that are showing....??? Are you some kind of horny pervert? -____- I knew the science stream students had problems, but I never knew they were so warped. And the teachers still think the science stream students are the best, most well-behaved, smartest, etc etc. Urghhh..... When I first saw the cake I felt disgusted. And to see you guys EAT it. I nearly puked.... Yuckkk... I don't want to talk about this anymore. It haunts me.

I love the Grimm brothers' fairytales. Not the 'editted' ones, but the real uncensored versions. Like Cinderella for example, where her stepsisters cut off their toes and heels just to fit their feet into the gold shoes. You can't imagine Disney showing that in their version of Cinderella now, can you? xD I somehow think that the Grimm brothers tell their tales in a little horror and macabre way... And that's just plain lovely. Also, do you know that Little Red Riding Hood was originally called 'Little Red Cap'? Aaahhhhhh... I love fairytales... <3

*sigh* I give up... Trying to study is like asking me to like lalas. Never gonna happen. People keep piling their hopes and dreams of what they think I am on me, making me even more irritated and pressured. Aaarrgghhhhh... I feel like killing myself. I know, it's not as easy as PMR anymore with the ABCDs, but I still can't find the will anywhere inside of me to start opening my reference books and memorizing stuff. I ain't no genius. If I don't study, my grades will be bad too. I won't fail, just maybe get a C... But still, it's bad. From the straight A student I was in primary school till this hopeless wreck I am in secondary school..... Help meeee.... T^T

2008-04-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

Remember the post where I said I cried my eyes out? Well... It ended up to be a total waste of my time. My poor eyes! T^T

After sitting down and discussing the matter with my parents very 'civilizedly' without my usual sarcasm or whining, they've agreed to let me buy what I want using my own money. My dad did say it was a total waste of money, etc etc but still, I CAN BUY A BJD~!! Omg omg omg omg omg wtf wth I'm in 7th heaven. <3

Incase you were wondering, bjd=ball-jointed dolls. The most gorgeous kind of dolls EVER. Remember last year when I had a file with many doll pictures? Those are examples of bjds. ^____^

Now comes the hard part. Which wig, eyes, outfits, shoes, furniture, accessories should I buy for my doll? And most of all, WHICH DOLL SHOULD I BUY?!?!?!?! I've always wanted a dream of dolls, but my friend says their resin quality is getting lousier. As for Luts (CP), I'm attracted to few of them but...... I still want a dod. *sigh*

I've been checking on bjds like mad the past few days, trying to determine which one to order before my dad comes back home from the Philipenes. Then after a week home, he'll be flying off to China for a month, so I have to order the doll fast.

I'd order 5 if I could, but these aren't the average dolls you see in the shops. (eg. barbie) These dolls are worth more than a thousand ringgit each. No, I'm not joking. But after all, bjds are super gorgeous so, it's more or less worth it.

www.dreamofdoll.com , www.eluts.com , www.dollmore.net (examples of bjds)

I know, yes, it's a waste of money again. But............ Considering the fact tht I loved dolls, and still love them, I guess it'll be alright. I used to play with barbie dolls till I was 13, lol, and I had loved them all. I'm pretty sure I'll love my future bjd even more. (at the risk of getting broke buying it plus clothes, shoes, and stuff for it)

And once I get my bjd, I'll have to cut down on buying MY cothes, because I'll be broke. One set of clothes for the bjd from Luts costs USD100........................ -____________- It's worth even more than my own clothes. Oh my god.

Study... Must study... But I dont have the will or spirit to. Damn. I totally suck.

PS: Read 'The Luxe'. It's a lovely book. ^^ Very victorianish.

2008-04-19T01:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the late updates... ^^;

I got banned from the pc a few days ago... And I had to succumb to using my lousy measly handphone screen to go online and the screen was so tiny I couldn't even se much of anything. *sob*

Anyways, I'm back now so it's all that matters. Too lazy to upload the Planet Shakers concert pictures though. LOLs. After the whole night of trying to take good shots, now I don't even want to upload them. Wtf? The atmosphere during the concert was really awesome though. The drums were so loud they made my heart pound faster. And everyone jumping and worshipping around me was such a lovely sight. I didn't jump much though, until the song 'Majesty' came up. <3 My favourite PS song ever~! I fell in love with it ever since my SSS members played it last year. Kyaaaaaa...

I seriously am greedy. I keep telling myself to do only 3-4 cosplays this year but nooo... My mind will not listen to me. It keeps wanting more, more, MORE. Like, I'm not even a good enough cosplayer yet. *sigh*

Cosers like yolkler, etc etc only looked as good as they are now after a few years of cosplaying. This is only my 2nd time! Ahhhhhhhh well.....................

Sorry Miki, for bugging you about the outfit prices! =x I know you must have been fed up with me asking for so many outfit prices but only ordering one or two of them... *dies* I just couldn't decide what to do! CF is like... Half a year away but I hv to start planning now..... Cause many of the cosplayers already planned what they want to do... @_____@

I think I better stop crossplaying for a while. I know I don't really look good in it, so why spoil the character's image? Maybe I'll stick to doing girl characters for a while.... But but.... Hibari Kyoya-sama...... The bishie KHR guys... I wanna do them! Y_______Y

Stop... Must STOP! I don't want to cosplay too much till I become more 'pro' & learn how to look super good in them. So.... Must... Resist......... OrmaybeIllbuytheoutfitsfirstandkeepthemtillImreadytodothembutImscaredtheywontfitasIgrowolderandthemoneywillgotowaste!

XD XD XD

My DELF exam is coming soon. Nnnnooooo... I must pass! And if I do, I'll start hunting for German classes next. *swts* Or maybe I'll wait till I sit the 2nd DELF exam for french first... But I dunno when that'll be... T_____T

The Japanese teacher is super weird today... Kong says she must have taken drugs! *jk jk* Usually she teaches so slow that we'll probably fall asleep in class, but today she went so fast we couldn't even get half of what she was teaching. -_____- And she was like complaining to Pn Chang that the French class girls took up all the space for the board. WTH. Hello, we divided the board into 3 ok? We only took 1 of the spaces. Summore now she wanna bolot the space for the fitness class's board too. Swt man. What is this? Some kind of competition on who gets the most space on the board?

Reading Tsubasa Chronicles now... ^^" Yes yes, I know I'm supposed to finish Air Gear & start on KHR but... I suddenly had the urge to do Sakura because of her super gorgeous outfits... *sigh* I totally, seriously need to get my head repaired. And yes, TRC also has more than 20 volumes of manga....... I'll never be able to finish them all. By the end of the year, I'll probably have to wear humongous specs with like 10000 power in each eyes. then I'll finally look like the geek that I am.

Help me God, help me! I want to have the will to study! My midterms are in less than a month's time! *begs*

2008-04-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

............................................................................................................. I'll blog about Esther's birthday and the Planet Shakers concert later.

My..... Eyes..... Hurt........ I've been bawling my eyes out for more than an hour........ I know, I know... I'm a selfish person....... But I've wanted that for almost a whole year...... I knew I should have just bought it last year when my brother wasn't sick. Fuck. Life isn't fair. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. My head hurts.

I haven't cried so much since... 2 years ago when 'that' incident happened. Gawd. This sucks.

I'm sorry.

2008-04-11T02:09:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Esther! You're finally 16~! Although I don't know what's so sweet about being sixteen years old. May you find the bestest and closest special friend that you've always wanted. Hahaha. Don't worry, I'm sure he/she is out there somewhere waiting for you.

5 moree... episodes... *crawling towards the finishing line* 5 more till I reach episode 77 of KHR~! Ossuuuu! Then I'll have to wait till the rest of the episodes appear one by one... Haih. And that's not all. I have to read 19 vols of KHR & Air Gear till I reach the current chapters. Oh my gosh, my eyes are going blindddd... Still, I must persevere & finish it till the end! Awake, my otaku spirit! Ossuuuuuuuu!!!

Must... Not... Fangirl... Over... KHR.......... Urghhhh... Dino is so cute! Tsuna is so handsome in hyper dying will mode! Hibari is always always good-looking no matter what he wears! Gokudera is so kakkoi when he was battling in the vongola ring battle! And and and... Mukuro-sama~!!! *swoon*

Tomorrow I'll be going to Esther's house for her b'day celebration. *sigh* It was a really big mess since they last minute went and changed the plans. -deleted- Enough. I don't want to rant about this anymore. It spoils my mood.

I need moar moneh!!! There are too many things I want to buy right now. Please, Kami-sama, let me grow a money tree that drops RM100000000 notes. *prays*

Accounts is confusing. @_____@ I didn't even realize I was day-dreaming in class till half the period was gone. Shit. I have to stop sleeping and day-dreaming in class every single day! Midterm exams are coming soon! If I don't get first place in my class I'll jump off the building and die. Nah, just joking. I'll just die of embarassment is all.

I want to form a cosplay group of my own. Like Jin Joson's tuxedo team. And my search begins!

Speaking of Jin Joson, she's is a GIRL. Yes. We have been deceived by her bishieness and I think most of her watchers on dA probably think that she's a guy and have worshipped her or something. Lol. I know someone who did. *points at +++++* xD Incase you don't know who Jin Joson is, she's the ever popular behindinfinity on dA. -> http://behindinfinity.deviantart.com
I almost died of shock when I found out the truth. But, she looks great as a girl cosplayer too! So, I forgive her. Lmao. What am I saying? I'm just blabbering on and on and on.

Till next time~ Tataa.

2008-04-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry for disappearing. xD I haven't been online these two days. Why? It's because... I bought Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn ep1-52. ROFL. I spent 2 whole days watching it from the time I come home from school till the time for me to sleep. Seriously. I'm a crazy otaku. As long as there is anime that I like, I'd even go without sleep to finish the whole show. Problem is... It's not finished~!!! Nnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo... T^T Currently there is 76 episodes online and the shop didn't sell the rest. Doshite?!?!?! I have to finish watching the rest!!! But it loads so slowly online... Shit. I have to go buy the rest soon. Anyone have any idea where to get it?

I think it'll turn out like Naruto, Bleach, etc etc. Never-ending anime. I used to say I won't watch animes that has so many episodes too. But I can't help it!!! Reborn is soooooo AWESOME. And no, it's not a shoujo anime. Lol. If it was, I doubt it'd last so many episodes. The only 2 shounen anime I ever liked... Air Gear & Hitman Reborn. I'm starting to think it's not that bad after all. Especially with so many hot bishies. Kyaaaaaa... Daisuki, Hibari-sama, Mukuro-sama~! *chuu*

Plus, plus... All the op and ending songs in Hitman Reborn is just loveeeeee. I AM IN LOVE WITH HITMAN REBORN!

My favourite song from Hitman Reborn (for now) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf8Nr250aog

Esther's b'day is this Firday. Haven't bought her present yet. *dies* I dunno what to buy! Should I buy some ecchi manga for her? *evil laughter* I love to taint people's minds. I don't even know what Esther would want. If it was me, I'd just buy manga or anime for her. Lols. I don't think she'd like that much though. Maybe I'll just get her a plushie. *stares at empty wallet* I'm going broke. :'( But I don't want to touch my PMR reward money yet. I may be a very 'boros' person but... I'm scared to touch the reward money. I might regret again like what I did for my UPSR reward.

Seriously, one by one everyone wants a DSLR. Kusyuu. First Mich bought one. Then I obviously had to own one also la since she had one. And now Kong is asking her dad to buy her one. Lols. See how vain humans are? We always, always can't stand people being better than us. We are kiasu people. And the worst thing is........... Michelle doesn't even know the basic things to know in her DSLR. -_____- I had to help her figure out how to set the apperture settings and everything. And it's not even the same brand as mine! Sheesh! At least la learn the basic stuff like shutter speeds, appertures, auto-af and all those... I'm not even interested in photography like you are but I know more than you do. How shameful. Kukukuku. XD

Episode 53 is loading so slowly. Darn it. This is so freaking lame. I have to know what happens between Hibari-sama and that fat dude! Urgghhhhhhh...

Gomen, Crim-san. I stopped GE again. T^T It's just that, being absent for half a year and the faction changed and my friends gone... I don't feel the motivation to play anymore. =x I promise I'll play again... soon... I think...... >_____________<"

2008-04-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

Ahhh... Merentas Desa at Taman Metropolitan really brought back many memories... The last time I was there was when I was form 2...? *sigh* Let's not resurface the past. Today was... really tiring. Still, I had fun. Sorta. I was walking all the way with Aimie, a girl from my class. I seldom talk to her much in class but since we were in the same sports house so we just hung together. She was really addicted to the 'hare hare yukai' song. Lol. She kept playing it on my phone as we walked & jogged to the finishing line. XD That song has been abused to many times! Rawr! Cosplay events, online, I hear the song everywhere. Gahhhhhhh... But the song's stuck in my head now. Must... Resist... Cannot... Dance... *dies*

Hoho. I found out another secret today. Rupa-rupanya *ehem* likes *ehem* for 4 years plus le. Well, I could guess already since it was so obvious, but for her to admit it was so fun to hear. Lol. My obaa-san said she, *ehem* and me were in the same boat because we had unrequited love? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I already gave up on my love a long time ago. Besides, I have so many hot bishies to fangirl over... When would I find time to pin away for a long lost love?

Hana Yori Dango is 1 million times better than Meteor Garden. So there! And so is Hana Kimi's Japanese version better than the lousy, lame, riddiculously sucky Taiwan version. -____- I hate the way Taiwan takes Japan's anime shows and make them into a crappy, lousy version. Like, why don't you guys come up with some original storylines for once? Sheessshhhhh. I'm not saying all Taiwanese shows are lousy, (I love Devil Beside You & It Started With A Kiss) I just don't like how some of the Taiwanes buy anime copyrights and make them into a really lame live drama series but millions of people worldwide still watch it because there are some of their favourite actors there. Some of the Japanese actors might not look as handome but their acting skills are still better than the Taiwanese. For example, take Ella as Mizuki in Hana Kimi's Taiwan version and compare her with Maki in the Japanese version. It's so obvious who's acting skills are better right? Not to mention Maki looks hotter too. LOL. I don't get why my mum prefers the Taiwan shows over the Japanese ones. The reason? The Japanese guys look too girly. =.=

I wanna go to China... T^T The cosplayers there have such white skin & lovely complexions... And Arashi-sama is from there too. *rabu* She is the best-est crossplayer I've ever seen~! No offence but, somehow I think girls look better than guys when they cosplay as guy characters in anime & manga. I've never seen guy cosplayers bishie enough to make me high. xD Not even behindinfinity's George cosplay from ParaKiss. There are no such things as bishie guys in this world. *sniffles* Or maybe my Reika onee-chan is one? No no... He's more suitable to be a girl than a bishie guy. Lol.

Lastly, THANK YOU Dark Knight for the burnt copy of L'Arc~en~Ciel's new cd~! I keep playing the songs over and over again. Hyde-sama daisuki~! <3

2008-04-04T04:45:00.000-07:00

Gosh. My head hurts. Something big happened in my class today that involves the discipline teacher, lots of arguments & tears, etc etc. I don't want to go into this any further. My head's been swimming with information the whole day. I feel like it's going to explode.

Instead, I shall crap about my lame lame interests again. Hahahahahahaha. I don't really like to talk about what happens in my personal life. It's rather insignificant, don't you think?

Let's see... I worship zemotion, I worship zemotion, I worship her so so so so much! I wish I would be able to meet her one day. =( *curses self for being so stupid as to not know she was there during the 2nd day of CF 2007* Her photography skills are tres magnifique and her life is awesome. I wish I was like her. *sniff*

I must have that Mary Magdalene OP. It's an absolute must! I love MM's & VM's outfits more than BTSSB because I feel that the dress designs from Baby is getting worse by the season, and plus, it's all sweet & pinkish. Eeeekkk. VM & MM is more of my type because they're all so elegant & gorgeous & victorian-ish... Gahhhhh... *rabu* Must have them all.... I'm in love with a new brand too! Alice & the Pirates is so so so so pirate-sy... LMAO.

My wishlist for my birthday SO FAR (lol) :
1. http://www.marymagdalene.jp/catalog/dress/st.claop_sh.html
2. http://www.marymagdalene.jp/catalog/dress/copjdr.html
3. http://www.babyssb.co.jp/shopping/pirates/104P901.html
4. http://innocent-w.jp/shopping/accessories/062912/062912.htm

Not like anyone will buy me those things anyway... *sigh* Should I just buy them? But the Alice & The Pirates bag itself costs RM517... @____@ I've never spent so much on a bag before... And the MM OP is like... RM844... And the prices don't even include the shipping fees... Gahhhhh... Must... Buy... But.................... Eve-san, I need you to come online or I can't order the stuff from you. T^T

It's okay, I'll just save up all my pocket money for the cosplay stuff, and splurge all the money I have now on the dress & bag & parasol. Then I'll probably regret it for the rest of my life like I regretted buying my bloody phone when I could have bought a cheap Rm500 phone and spent the rest of the money on my manga collection.

All the crap about how money can't buy happiness is wrong. Who said money can't buy happiness? If you're a poor person, I'd doubt you'll feel happy now, will you?

I'm still thinking what to call my website. Should I make it a personal blog, or a webbie showcasing photographs like zemotion's? Should I use .com or .net? What name should I put? It's really hard to think... *sigh*

Tomorrow is merentas desa. I'll be walking to my grave. Go, run, go........... x_____X

2008-04-03T05:15:00.000-07:00

Hmm... What should I blog about today?

Oh yes, my school's Computer Club. Me, being such a 'good' little girl, finally attended computer club today and what do I get?
1. the aircond not working
2. not enough chairs to sit
3. all the computers hogged by the juniors
4. the whole room stinks of smelly socks

I wanted to leave and never come back. I almost died today. Sheesh. Me and my fellow form 4s were very upset witht he new rule that allowed form 1s to join the club because we weren't allowed to during form 1. As if that's not bad enough, the form 1s & 2s were nicely using the computers and sitting on the chairs while we, the seniors had to sit on the floor like idiots and try our hardest not to breathe. -________- In addition to that, the ancient computers and malfunctioning air conditioning does not make matters better. I am never going to go back to that club again if they don't fix these problems soon.

One of my classmates plaited my hair into two today. LOL. I don't think I've ever done that hairstyle before. It looked sorta weird. @__@" I look like some country girl from China.

I want to go to a co-d school for a month. T^T I've been in a girls school since standard 1, and I've never experienced how it's like being in a school with boys. Then again, being in a girl's school has many advantages. Still, I want to at least see how it's like being in a co-ed school before I go to college! Imagine the culture shock I'll receive. Eeeeeeekkkk.

Need to learn how to put make-up on. It's not like I like make-up, but I need it for cosplay & lolita stuff so... Might as well learn. =x The last time I tried to put some on, I looked like a disaster. LMAO.

Merentas Desa is on Saturday. I DON'T WANT TO GO. Sports day is already over, why are you making us run for nothing? *sigh*

2008-04-02T04:04:00.000-07:00

Michelle's aunt passed away. :'( My deepest condolences to you. Stay strong Mich~! You'll meet her again someday in Heaven. If you need me, I'll be right beside you k?

My Rozen Maiden cosplay project. o____O I seriously don't know which character I should do. Since Kong wants to do Shinku I don't have someone to do Souseiseki, which means it'll be weird if I do Suiseiseki. I want to try Kirakishou, but it's hard to do a photoshoot when she only appeared for 2 minutes in the whole anime. WTH. As for Kanaria, I don't like her yellow outfit. Gahhhhh... My head hurts. I want to get Ayase & Kikyo to cosplay with us because, well, I want to cosplay with pretty girls. *dies* xD I have a fetish for pretty & cute chibi girls. Omg, am I turning into a lolicon?!?! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

-deleted-

I am a dreamer. I dreamt of many many things, but I've never worked hard to make any of them a reality so far. Aren't I just a horrid person?

-deleted-

Must. Be. A. Pro. Soon. I want a wide-angle lens. But I don't want to use my money to buy it. >___<" I don't like the fish-eye lens and the telephoto lens (because it's so heavy I almost dropped my friend's camera when I used it o.O) but Michelle's saving up for a fish-eye lens. If only our DSLRs were the same brand then I could just pinjam her lens. XD XD Maybe I'll help the Bleach cosplayers with their photoshoot if they do it in FRIM. I need practice anyway. Or my poor baby will rot at home and grow mould all over. Eeekk.

I'm busy downloading manga. Lmao. I'm a true otaku! Rawr. Why will no one believe that I'm a nerdy geek? I even have my own anime figurines now! All otakus need figurines to complete their look. *Swts* I only bought nendoroids though. Coz I love chibi chibi stuff! Kyaaaaaaaa~ Mooeeeeeee. =P

-deleted-

Gosh, I deleted so many parts of my post today. xD I don't want to post them up. Yesterday's post... I feel like deleting that too. Why? Because I don't like talking about so much money. It makes me feel like a vulgar person. >__<

I don't think I should go to Japan for the holidays yet. I might as well take the other present in return. If I go to Japan, I can guarantee you my wallet will be empty in less than a day after arrivals. Especially if I enter the BTSSB, Victorian Maiden, h.Naoto etc etc shops. @_____@ A lolita's paradise.

My wallet is empty now. I spent RM900 on my geta, yukata, kinchaku, obi, wig, & my newest lolita dress. I only asked the tailor to make a replica because the real dress is RM1000+ without counting the shipping fees from Japan. Imagine that. If I had two of them, I could already afford another DSLR. *faints*

COSPLAYING IS AN EXPENSIVE HOBBY. I'm starting to regret this. :x

2008-04-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

Weeeee... It's been a long time since I updated. xD I'm currently playing Granado Espada again. Hahahahahahahaha. I guess my addiction for games can never be cured. And no, I didn't return to the game because I'm in love with whoever it is in the faction right now. By the way, Daisuki became Renevatio which means new beginning in spanish? o.O Ah well, I'm not the faction leader anymore. That's rather sad. :(

The reason I returned to GE is because:
1. Cabal sucks sucks sucks~I don't even want to repeat about how sucky it is XD
2. I'm planning to do GE cosplay one day
3. The outfits...... *rabu*

-deleted-

Help. x________X There's an italian model scout company or something that asked me to send them my resume. They're an international company or something. Trouble is, can I trust them? And besides, my parents are against me modelling. That's why I stopped modelling after the gig for Models Magazine. My friend asked me to be his hair model and I got a lecture from my dad. Aaarrrgggghhhhhhhhh... I know, I know. I'm only 16, I should study and not do nonsense. Modelling is for low class people. Bla bla bla. It makes my head hurt.

This whole post is a lot of nonsense. Don't bother about what I'm crapping about. Thank you.

2008-03-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

Sleepless Night

I wince
As the cruel night wind
Shrieks like a banshee
And the pitter-patter sounds of rain
Drone on like the humming of bees

I turn
Making the springs in my bed
Breaking the silence
That echoes around the room
Like the walls of a cave by the sea

I shudder
Looking at the shadows
Formed on the pink wallpapered ceilings
Reminding me of the nightmares
That haunt my dreams

I sigh
As minutes turn into hours
The clouds slowly changing colors
And I realize I have spent
Another sleepless night

-missHerMes- [26.03.2008]

I wrote this today after reading the poetry in the SPM syllabus. Those poems were so good that I feel ashamed after reading mine. Darn. My poems will be published all around the world someday! RAWR! *dies*

Too lazy to rant about ACGC. I crapped too much in the CF forums about it already. Let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.

Esther said there's a japanese thingy event coming up hosted by limkokwing. o.O At Ruums. I'm underage~!!! xD But maybe we can sneak in since Esther's friend is there. Hahahahaha. now all we need is transport. Lol.

Do I really look so different with short hair that no one can recognize me? @___@ When Bowie's librarian friend saw me on ACGC day 2 she didn't even realize I was the Akito on day 1 till I told her. Then she was like, omg that was you? *swts*

Idol master. So so... MOE. I wish I had a xbox360. Why did my brothers choose to buy the stupid psp instead?!?! Why not a ps3?! So many games I want to play......... *sniff*

I have a new dance to learn as well as finishing the lucky star one. I used to hate dancing but after hare hare yukai for CF, I couldn't stop myself. Nnnnoooooooo... XD By the way, I got the video of the hare hare yukai dance on the 2nd day of ACGC. Somehow, I could be seen throughout the entire video. LMAO. I wonder who took it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5_DQckiLHY

I'm the one in the shiro lolita dress. You can see me pulling up my sleeves during the dance. Why? Because the dress is M size and it's too big for me so it kept slipping off my shoulders when I moved. *paiseh* Yes, I look retarded while dancing.

Last rant, Caramelldansen is absolute love! And since it has only one move throughout the entire song, I already know how to dance that. XD XD Maybe I'll post up a video of me doing it one day. Or not. *dies*

2008-03-23T04:51:00.000-07:00

Random rants about ACGC 2008:

1. Someone asked me which magazine I was from again. Lol. Do I really look like a professional photographer or something? My DSLR is not even pro-looking. It only has the basic body and lens. @____@ Still, I'm happy to hear that. Haha.

2. I got my Yuki Nagato figure! Kyaaaaaa! I love her so so much! Kawaii... :3

3. Being a lolita photographer is hard. People ask me to snap pictures with them even though I'm holding my camera. *sigh*

4. I saw my cosplay idols on both days. XD I ain't telling who she is. Still, she's so kakkoi & kawaii! *fangirls*

5. The 8gb thumbdrive turned out to be 8 1gb thumbdrives. I pity the people who came just for it. I wonder who they are~~~ LOL.

6. The Air Gear photoshoot was so so so so so so FUN! I never did a cosplay photoshoot before. It turned out to be awesome unlike my stupid modelling photoshoot which was awkward, stiff, scary, and hard to do.

7. The lighting there seriously SUCKS big time. It made all the pictures I took suck too. I felt like deleting all of the pictures. x___________X So so so ugly. I hate them all. Screw you lights!

8. I got free games again! Hahahahaha. Although I dunno where I'll install them since my pc is full with manga. I think I'll install it in my brother's pc instead.

9. I do not like being stared at and whispered and teased by those freaking 'lala' people. I should have gotten used to it by now but it still kills my nerves.

10. My Agito didn't turn up for the shoot. Where's my other half? *sniff*

I'll post about ACGC tomorrow. Today I'm too tired to bother so I just posted some random comments on it. Lol. *sleepy*

Can I not go to school tomorrow? Pleaseeeee? I don't think I can handle choral speaking tomorrow when I'm so tired.

2008-03-21T04:32:00.000-07:00

Preparing for an event is hard. =( I spent an hour walking around Selayang Mall, buying gloves, pins, etc to complete my outfit. I'm still missing black boots and hat for Akira though. Have to find it during ACGC tomorrow. Hopefully, Sg Wang will sell them or I'll be dead. x________X

After that, I spent at least 3 hours trying to sew a brand new eyepatch for Akito because my old one was ruined. Originally, I wanted to just stick the cotton swab with ribbons but because we were out of cotton swabs, I had to use real cloth. And since my sewing skills are basically zero, the eyepatch turned out really... Ehrmm... Weird.

Then I had to spend another half an hour mending the holes in my gloves because I tried to modify my gloves by cutting it but somehow the clumsy me made 3 holes on the glove in the process. -___________-

ACGC is tomorrow~! XD See you guys there!

2008-03-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy today! *smiles* Choral speaking practice with my class was actually fun, albeit the tiredness and heat and... Half of the class not showing up. -.- (I'm going to kill them on Monday)

I ended the practice early (muahahaha) cause I'm the conductor and I have the authority to so, (lol) so me, Wai Yee, Wei Qing, etc went to Selayang Mall to lepak. I played snooker! xD Although I lost to Wai Yee because we both entered the white ball in the hole and there was only one ball left to determine who the winner was. But if it was counting who got the most balls in, I was the obvious winner. Hahahahahaha.

After that Wai yee suddenly wanted to be an 'ah sam' so me and Wei Qing followed her to Giant where we saw many people buying Compact brand toilet rolls. o.O Then Wai Yee went and ask the salesman how much the thing costs. LOL. But sadly for her, the toilet roll sold out ade. We were really acting retarded in the supermarket man. So embarrasing. XD

During choral speaking practice Aimie wanted to go home early so someone suggested that we hide her bag. *swts* Then when she came back and couldn't find her bag, Aimie started crying and the whole class was like, "Omg, what did we do?" Turns out Mary Grace told her that we hid her bag and she was only pretending to cry. LMAO. I wasn't involved with it anyway so it doesn't matter.

ACGC is in... 2 days. OMG. So freaking nervous la wei. Although I dunno why. Hahaha. I guess it's because more people will be going? And I don't even know those people. @.@ There were a few random people on friendster who asked me if I was going. Should I join the cosplay competition?!?!?! I want to, I really do, but I'm a coward. I don't dare to go up on stage and pose. And if they ask me questions about my character, I dunno how to answer. Coz I'll be doing Akira. @_________@

2008-03-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

Ahahahahahahahaha. I'm feeling crazy right now. Somehow when my class practiced choral speaking today, I couldn't stop smiling after we finished practicing. @_____@ I felt so happy for some reason, like we accomplished something when we didn't. LOL.

Code Geass is absolute LOVE! I think I'll do CC one day. Or maybe Lelouch. Since I like cosplaying guys more than girls. *evil laughter* And there was a girl who said I looked like a guy. o.O That's the first time someone ever said that to me. I didn't know how to react. Hahahaha.

I can't wait for ACGC! Kyaaaaaaaaa! *fangirls* Potato is coming, Obaa-san is coming, and my Peach is finally able to come too! ^________^ I really want to try joining the cosplay competition, but I'm scared. So... Maybe next time? >.< The rm1k prize is rrreeeaaallllyyyyy tempting though.

Literature class was so fun! I loved reading the poems and everything. But, it's rather easy to understand, and my teacher said it was the hardest one in the book. x______X It's so not challenging. Ah well. I still like it all the same.

*laugh* My english teacher said my class's english test results was like shit but mine was even better than the Science stream class she taught. (and that class has Jo Ann etc etc inside... all the smart ones) So I'm feeling rather proud right now. LOL. I got 44/45 marks for it. Even though my answers weren't exactly what people would normally answer, she said it was really good and stuff. *happy* Wait, actually, I don't feel anything from it. -__________- If it was for some other subject then maybe I will feel euphoric. But, for english, I sort of expected it already. (No, I'm not full of myself. It's just that I know my capabilities and limits is all. XD) Now if I got such a high mark for BM, I'd cry for joy since my average BM marks verge on a B-C.

Tomorrow I have to sacrifice my holiday to go to choral speaking practice in a FOOTBALL FIELD. Why oh why am I the conductor again? I feel like bringing my dslr. *dies*

2008-03-18T00:59:00.000-07:00

*laugh* This test is awesomeness.

http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/testgen/4856/

My result:Opportunistic seme
Preying on the clueless is what you're all about. You really don't intend to hurt anyone, but if a little harmless manipulation can get you what you want, you're not beyond taking a little advantage of someone, which you figure is an even exchange for your companionship anyway. Not one for lots of drama, you are best paired with the Clueless Uke who will give you what you want and be none the wiser.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha XD

I'm officially so fed up of my class that I could kill myself. They don't coorperate much and the choral speaking competition is like, a few days away. We only practiced TWICE so far, and we haven't even finished the first page. Fuck it. Why am I the stupid bloody conductor?! I wish I could push all my responsibilities away. Fuck fuck fuck. Why the hell did they choose me if they don't even plan to do well for the choral speaking competition anyway?

ACGC is 3 days away. =3 I can't wait!

2008-03-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

Malaysian Dream Girl is officially a waste of my time. The only reason I watch it is to kill time while I wait for Code Geass to load. XD Because of my stupidity I keep having to load the same episodes all over again so I fill in my little gaps of time watching that stupid show. Why do I think MDG is stupid?

1. the girls are like they're still in kindergarden. get a present, start screaming. they get to go somewhere, start screaming. like, wtf is wrong with them? (i bet they only do it in front of the camera anyway)

2. low standards. they dont even look half as good as the girls in america's next top model and their photoshoots so far has been nothing but l.a.m.e. LAME. where's the passion? creativity? all they do is fashion shoots and those are boring me.

3. they cry and cry and cry when talking on the phone. what are they, five? i didnt even cry of homesickness or anything when i went to camp & stuff n i was only like, 10 at the time? gawd.

4. some of the models just dont deserve to be there. enough said. i cant picture them in the future strutting down the runways in paris's fashion week or anything.

Yay! I did my homework today! XD Like... A few pages only. Lol. All the hard and long notes and stuff ones I havent started. I just did the easy easy e\stuff only. *dies* One more day left till school reopens. SHIT.

2008-03-13T03:36:00.000-07:00

Shinsei Doumei Cross
The only manga I've ever read that made me cry so badly. xD I really love touching mangas, books, shows, or anime. Anything that can make me cry, I'd read it. There's something wrong with me again. (Hahahahahahahaha)

But... I love them because they portray pain so beautifully that it makes people cry. That's why I've always wanted to write a story that would make people cry. >____< I wrote a few poems and a story that made 1-2 people cry and others who felt like crying after reading it, and that made me a little happy. Still, it's not enough to satisfy my desire. I want the whole world to read a book that I write one day, and cry over how bittersweet it is. Though I know it'll never happen, I'll still try. (Once I get my lazy butt moving from my pc and get a pen and paper to write -.-)

School is starting again. I don't want to go back. I want to spend my entire life like this. *dies*

I suspect that I'll wear spectacles soon. My head hurts from sitting in front of my pc the whole day and my eyes burn from it too. Oh well, I don't really care about beauty anyway. So... It doesn't really matter.

2008-03-11T05:11:00.000-07:00

Kagen No Tsuki is love... xD Okay, maybe I'm a little late in watching this since it came out like... A few years ago, and the only reason I watched it was because Hyde was in it, but... It's quite a decent movie. It's a little confusing for me at times though... And and and, HYDE NEEDS MORE LINES AND SCREENTIME~!!! *coughhugefanofhydeherecough* He should have been the main lead male character, not that nameless whatevertheactor'snameisIdon'tcare guy! *sob* Why? Why? Who cares if Hyde is 30 or 40 or 50 or even 60? He'll still look good till the day he dies... :3

Damn, I'm reading manga about incestous relationships... What is wrong with my brain right now?! First I got hooked on BL with Loveless then I started reading Yaoi and now Incest?!? Omg... And I'm still underage for that matter... *dies* Must... Stop... Reading... Must... Resist... Temptation... x_________________x

My homework is still crying out to me. It's already Tuesday. I have less than a week of holidays left and I haven't started on my two months ago homework. Shit. As a matter of fact, I haven't even opened my reference books to do revision either. And it's already March!! Damn, I need help. Help me!

2008-03-10T04:59:00.000-07:00

Kenny Sia's chatbox is seriously weird. People talk about anything there, from condoms to sex, to racial issues, dentists, etc. WTF? I don't know what's wrong with those people. Wait, I'm one of them too. xD Well, it's pretty entertaining chatting there. Except for the hentai stuff la. That part is just plain ewwwwww.

Waiting for more episodes of Shugo Chara to come out. I'm rooting for the Amu x Ikuto pair. Hahaha. I know that'll never happen though. :( Amu's in love with her prince-sama & he'll probably be with her in the end. Poor Ikuto. *sniff*

No, I'm not a model. Why do people keep asking me that? Just because I did a shoot for a magazine once, it makes me a model? *swts* I did want to be a professional model once, but with my height, I won't go far. Besides, my parents think that modelling is a low class job & a waste of time and bla... So I don't think I'll really pursue it seriously.

Must remember to get my Yuna costume for Final Fantasy X... @.@

2008-03-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

Really emo today. Don't feel like posting. Sorry.

2008-03-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

I finally recieved the cd from the Models Magazine staff. *phew* I thought they were never going to give it to me. Well... Some of the photos turned out okay but some were... blehhh... xD I knew I wasn't much of a photogenic person anyway... But the thing that hurt my pride the most was everyone asking me, "Is that really you in the picture?" -_________- I know la I look ugly in it. But am I so ugly that I'm unrecognizable in the pictures? *cries*

Link for the pictures:
http://misshermes.deviantart.com/gallery/#Models-Magazine-photoshoot

I only posted 2 for now... I'll post the rest later. Only those that look halfway decent. x____X

2008-03-07T02:43:00.000-08:00

*laugh* I really am evil sometimes. I felt happy when her friends flamed me even though they didn't know who I was. xD What is wrong with me?!? Am I some kind of mentally retarded person?! Answer: Yes I am. I'm a retard who got straight As for my UPSR & PMR results. Muahahahahaha. *swts*

There is something seriously wrong with my brain. Maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived. I only slept like... 2 hours last night because I was up reading Nana. And I couldn't even fall asleep in school. o.O

You know what, I always wanted to try cosplaying Cloud from FFVII. I know I know, not in a million years right? Hahahaha. I end up spoiling all the characters that I do. That's why I sometimes really hate cosplaying. Why do the other people look so good? *sniff* It's so unfair. :(

Since I finished all the current Nana scanlations online, I moved on to watching Shugo Chara. It's a super super girly anime, sort of like Sailormoon (XD) but I don't know why I'm still watching it. The costumes are cute though. I'll try doing them maybe. Hoho.

Minna, root for me! I'll need all the support I can get.

2008-03-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

Fuck you Takumi. FUCK YOU to the ends of the earth!

2008-03-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

Ahhh... I'm getting lazier day by day. My homework is pilling up and all I do is stare at it. *sigh* All I do now is go online and read Nana. Shit. I'm addicted.

Poor pitiful Ren... And Hachi... I really hate those fucking people who hurt them... But most of all... I feel Nana the most pitiful... >.< Why am I getting so emotional over a manga? Lol. Then again, I can't help it I suppose. I'm in love with it. Hahahahaha.

Today is Bowie's birthday and I didn't know. What kind of hopeless 'granddaughter' am I? No worries, obaa-san! I'll buy u a nice present for ur 16th birthday. Happy birthday sweet 16~~

I'm at chapter 51 of the manga already... Time sure flies... xD

I'd like to cosplay Nana one day... Or maybe Hachi... But I don't think I'll look cool enough or cute enough. I hate feelings like this. I look at myself in the mirror and see so many imperfections in me.

My new costume arrived today. Akira from Togainu no chi. Another guy character. I wonder why I like doing them so much even though people say I look better as a girl. I guess it's because I really wanted to be born a guy. I liked wearing my friend's Shiki costume more because of the katana. *swts* Then again, I didn't do him because I didn't think I'd pull off his look.

I wonder why I keep thinking about the past. I hate it. I hate the fact that you and her are still so happy together.

2008-03-04T03:58:00.000-08:00

There are so many beautiful models on deviantart. It makes me want to eat them all. *dies* My newest fetish is on miss-mosh. She's so gorgeous! I want to take her home & make her my doll. I could stare at her all day. Muahahahahaha. I'm sick, ain't I? If only I was a pro photographer... Then I could get her to work with me & I'll be able to shoot her... *daydreams*

Why are some people born so gorgeous? It's so unfair... *sniff* And here I am, blogging about my poor pitiful self who can never compare to the supermodels out there. How pathetic right? Lol. Even when I did the photoshoot for Models Magazine, I looked so weird in it and people couldn't even recognize me in the picture. @_____@ Ah well, I knew I wasn't photogenic anyway.

I want to publish a book of my poetry one day but I know not many people in this world buys books on poetry. I myself only own around 2-3 poetry books. So... I decided to start on a novel first and perhaps garner a fanbase then it'll be easier for me to sell my works of poetry. I love writing poetry the most because it's easier (XD) and I can express myself more freely. Not constricted by words or long-winded sentences like in novels and stories.

The problem is... I'm too lazy to even complete a whole chapter of my novels, let alone a whole book. I have many ideas, but I never put them down on paper, and my ideas keep accumulating in my head. Lols. I'm not sure whether I'll be successful as a writer, but there are quite a few who like my stuff and told me to pursue writing? Eeeps.

Sports day sucked by the way. xD My house was DEAD LAST. It was funny though, looking at everybody start from hopeful faces to become lifeless and depressed at the end. I'm evil. Bwahahahahahaha.

Morita-san is sssssoooooo cute... *rabu* I wish I had the chance to see him during GACC. I wanted his autograph and picture too. T_______T

2008-03-02T07:25:00.000-08:00

Not much to say today. I got addicted to Flyff Online again after so long. xD Well, I guess I couldn't help it. Gaming is in my bones.

A huge thank you to HolyGirl my ex-guild member for the gift! She gave me her dress girl suit & 50 million penya to complete the whole set. It was the set I always wanted to buy & now that I have it, I'm so so so so happy! I LOVE YOU HOLYGIRL!!! XD I'm still missing the hat though. I bought the boots for 19m though they were selling it for 15m in another server. :( I rugi 4m ade. Ah well, have to go buy the hat soon! Left with only 34m.

Sport's Day (again) tomorrow. *sniffles*

2008-03-01T02:27:00.000-08:00

Today was totally a waste of time. Sport's Day was cancelled because of the rain and the whole time, I kept thinking, why didn't I go for GACC instead? I would have been much happier there. *sigh* I don't want to rant on about this anymore. I've complained enough today. Lol.

I wrote a totally random poem yesterday. I just started jumbling words together & typing it out, not caring how it sounded. It's been a long time since I wrote poems that don't rhyme. Haha. It ain't complete yet. I just need the motivation to continue but... I'm just lazy. XD No title yet either.

Random poem:

Everyone around me has their own life
And I ask myself, what about me?
My life has been anything but pretty
It was a life of longing
Painful memories flooded my mind
My laugh came out an empty soulless echo

The darkness within me swallowed me whole
I felt like I was drowning in the silence
Choking, I couldn’t breathe
I needed to escape somehow
But the chains that bind me did not break
And I was dragged down

I wake and find myself in a blank space
Looking around me, all I see is a vast emptiness
My heart ached so badly that it shattered
But I couldn’t find the broken pieces
I try and try yet again
Still, I could never reach the finishing line

[To be continued]

I read Beauty Pop chapter 32-34 today. I can't wait for the next scanlations! *love*

2008-02-29T07:12:00.000-08:00

Wow, I've been blogging really frequently lately. I've already reached 11 posts! Lol. Well, it is better progress compared to my other blogs. Some never even made it past 2 posts.

Today was a sucky day. I know, today only comes once in 4 years! It should be a good day but for me, it was bad.

1. I had a stomach ache in school early in the morning for no reason.
2. In the evening & also now, I'm having a bad headache that's on the verge of turning into a migraine.

I know it's all probably due to my irregular sleeping hours & meals, but I can't really help it. I know my health condition is probably really bad but I don't care either. Why? It's because I'm too lazy to be bothered. *sigh* I'm hopeless.

And why on earth do I have to be the conductor for my class's choral speaking? It's like re-living my form 2 nightmare. I already did it once and now I have to do it again? Just let Kasturi do it since she wants it so badly. I never volunteered for this man. Choosing me just because my english is good is not a reason. -,- In addition to that, all the teasing I got when my friends saw me conducting. Gaahhhhhhh... It's so embarrasing.

Tomorrow is my school's sports day. I don't wanna go. T^T Since I'm not taking part in anything anyways, there's no reason for me to go.

Maybe I should dye my hair black. I've had it with people asking me, "Did you dye your hair?" every single bloody time. From the time when I was in primary school till now, prefects, teachers, discipline teachers, friends, family, classmates... They all ask the same stupid question. Then I'd have to repeat the same stupid answer. "No, I didn't. My hair colour is natural." Then they'll start saying they don't believe me bla bla bla and I'd have to get my friends as witnesses. Today though, was the worst. One of my school's discipline teachers asked me to ask my mum to write a letter stating that my hair is not dyed and give her my mum's hp number. WTF? I can't help it if my hair is brown & black & gold. I never asked for it to be this way, damnit. I was born this way & my hair will remain this way unless I really dye it. Besides, if I were ever to dye my hair, I'd dye it WHITE. Not put in streaks of brown & gold. I don't even like those colours. Sheesh. There was once when I cried though. I got so fed up with people asking me the same thing and that teacher was really getting on my nerves, so before I realized it, I cried. Ha ha ha. Then the teacher got freaked out or something and said, "I just wanted to know the truth." Hah. The truth. Hah. Even if I told you the truth, you wouldn't believe me so why bother?

Maybe I'll just tell them I dyed my hair the next time somebody asks. It'll save me a lot of time and energy explaining the same bloody thing again. I can't help it if it's in my genes. *mad*

Manga review of the day: Nana
Nana is so so so so so so awesome! I give it 100 stars out of 100! It's emo, dark, depressing... All the elements I love in a story. I never thought I'd cry again when Shouji broke up with Nana since I already cried when I watched the anime, but when I read it, I couldn't help it but cry again. The power of words. Haha. I don't really know what to type since I haven't finished it, so I'll update more later. ^^

2008-02-28T05:21:00.000-08:00

ACGC is coming soon. Next next week I think. March is really filled with cosplay events this year. Last week was ACF, this week will be GACC, (that I'm so unfairly going to miss!) next next week will be ACGC and the first week of March was the MaGe Fest(?) if I'm not mistaken.

Unfortunately, I can't attend all of the events held because:
1. I can't drive
2. I'm still under my parents' control since I'm still 16
3. I have school & related stuff

I might try joining a cosplay competition someday. =X But I'm scared I'll embarass myself and stuff. So I'll just take it one step at a time.

It's rather sad that I didn't get into my school ed board's photography section last year. If I did, I'll have a reason to bring my DSLR to school EVERY SINGLE DAY! *happy* Then again, I was already in the English section & we can't join 2 sections at a time. Besides, I wasn't picked anyway. I didn't even like photography much till I got my DSLR. It's funny how a mere camera can change people's personalities.

And sorry to say, for those friends of Amanda & Esther, (I can't consider them my friends since we only met once) if I'm only allowed to go out twice or thrice during the holiday, I won't be able to go out with you guys. I have a cosplay photoshoot for Air Gear coming up and also ACGC is nearing, as well as the Lolita Gathering 5 this March so... I'll be really busy. ^^"

Anime review of the day: Sister Princess
I don't know which retard created this show, but this show is hinting a whole lot on incest. Like wtf? 12 cute sisters that are all in love with their lone brother? Furthermore, they don't even look alike nor did the show explain how and why they are all related in the first place. One fine day they all just appear and tell the guy that they are his sisters. One maybe still reasonable la, but 12 at the same time?!?! Plot wise, nothing much goes on other than showing how much the sisters love their brother, bla bla bla. Spoiler: I mean, why the hell would a sister want to play bride with her own brother? And telling him they love him the most, blushing when they're with him, wanting to hold his hand... *swts* But... I love Chikage & Aria. It's unfair that they don't get much of any screentime! They're just like the extras in the show when they should be the leads. *sniffle*

2008-02-27T04:48:00.000-08:00

I stare at blogs of famous bloggers everyday and I wonder, how come they're so famous but I'm not? They blog. I blog. They only talk about themselves and their vanity fairs. I talk about... ACGFLCBP? XD It's a new word I created out of boredom. You have the standard ACG: Anime Comics Games but I have... ACGFLCBP: Anime Comics Games Figures Lolita Cosplay Books Photography. Wow. Talk about creative. *swts*

Then again, I guess 80% of the world population would rather read blogs on girls or guys snapping millions of photos of themselves and talk about their latest boyfriends/girlfriends or whatso whatnot.

Maybe I should do that too. And when I'm a famous blogger one day, I don't have to find for jobs anymore. The jobs will come to me instead. Hohoho.

I'll be missing GACC this weekend. Damnit. I really wanted to go! The voice actor for Tidus from FFX will be there... I want his autograph... ='( Lots of cosplayers from Singapore will come too, and it'll be the biggest cosplay event in Malaysia. And I'm missing it. DANG. Someone bring me to Malacca this weekend pretty please? *sniff*

I have a lot of homework that are left unfinished. My lazy self strikes again!

2008-02-26T06:11:00.000-08:00

I seem to always be stuck in the middle of flame wars in forums now. *sigh* I know, I may say some harsh words at times, but I mean well. I can't help it if everything I type is perceived as rude and stuff. I can't please everybody in the world, can I? Sheeshh...

I'm ordering my nendoroid L, Kira, & Yuki figures from the figure mall. Hehe. I fell in love with them ever since I saw the figure exhibition at ACF. I guess I really am a crazy otaku. *laugh* I only want to buy nendoroids though. I don't really like full figures. I'm all for chibis! XD

I need more $$ to fund my hobbies and needs. Someone please be my sponsor pretty please? T^T

I need:
1) props for my future photoshoots
2) gorgeous looking models who will work for free
3) outfits & accessories
etc

Pray for me tht I'll win the lottery k?

And lastly, after hearing what Esther said today, I'm feeling a little uneasy. I kind of doubt I'll go to Heaven after all the sins I've done. I don't even think I repented & the biggest problem is, I'm not even sure I believe in the existennce of God yet. *sigh* I'm hopeless. Help me, somebody. I want to have faith in the Kingdom of God.

2008-02-25T05:02:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with my camera. *dies* I knew this would happen. I kept snapping photos of random things, eg. grass, tables, chairs... etc. I also did a little photoshoot for my dearest Mayura of Pinky Street. (A figurine, not a human okay) My photography skills totally suck though. I'm using a DSLR and still my photos look blur sometimes. Curse my shaky hands. I have to improve soon and then maybe someday (in my dreams) I'll get to be as good as zemotion. xD xD

Have to look for models to shoot soon. Me no likey shooting still life. There was this guy dressed in vk that got my attention at ACF but I was too shy to talk to him. T^T (No, don't think the wrong way lol) I just think that he'd make a good model if I were to ever do a photoshoot for visual kei rockers.

I had my Sejarah test today! Of course, I did really badly as usual. I bet I'll fail or something. Sejarah is just so so boring. It sucks the life force out of you when you read. *spirit flies out*

February monthly test results so far:
Econs: 82%
Commerce: 88%
Accounts: 76%
I got highest in my class for all 3 subjects and I didn't even have to study. LOL. Going to the Arts stream is the best choice I ever made.

My internet connection is crappy today. It makes me unhappy. *sniff*

I'm going to turn into a walking skeleton soon. My maid keeps cooking horrible tasting food which makes me lose my appetite and result in eating less and less. My gastric's gonna get worse and I'll probably end up dying of hunger. Muahahahahahaha.

ACF 2008

2008-02-24T04:54:00.000-08:00

Day 1
Lame. Lame. Boring. Lame. The whole place was practically empty. So I went back early. Sorry Bowie for dragging you with me to such a lame event. *sniff* We took puri though. Hahaha. And of course, my dad bought my Sony DSLR A2000W. According to him, I own only 40% of the camera because I only paid RM1000. The rest of the RM2500 was paid by him, not including filters & stuff. I got a free tripod but it was made in China. *swts*

Day 2
Well, it's much better than day 1 I suppose. I went there as a photographer for the first time in my life (xD), wearing only casual clothes (long sleeved shirt & shorts) but I still get stares from people as I pass by. WTF? The cosplay competition wasn't really entertaining to me though. I spent my day snapping photos of figurines, cosplayers, drawings on walls...... etc. My DSLR is awesome pawnage! *love* I can't stop snapping. Then Aiko's friend wanted to use my camera for a while and I used his. His camera is worth 4k++ and the whole time I was holding it, I was afraid I'll drop it. So heavy. @.@ The emcee of the day was sorta entertaining I suppose. He did a freestyle dance performance and cracked jokes. I also met blackcat & nicholas who sort of got to know me during CF 2007? I wore high heels today too for the first time in my life also, and my fet hurt like hell after wearing it for less than 5 minutes. Imagine the agony of wearing it for a whole 5 hours. I was ready to die by the time I took them off. I seriously don't get why girls love wearing heels. Doesn't it hurt?!?

Anyway, when I went to buy food for my mum & brothers before going to ACF Day 2, the people there were like... *swt* One malay guy said, "Amoi, kamu pergi mana? Boleh saya ikut? Nak telefon nombor?" And an indian lady went "All the staff here says you're so beautiful" or another person said "You look like a doll" etc etc. So damn... WTH??? I mean if you say I look like a doll, of course I'm happy till I have nothing to say la since it's been my dream and all, but calling me 'beautiful'? Are you people BLIND?!?! -.-

*sighs* I'm still an amateur photographer. Have to learn about the shutter speeds & composition of my camera & stuff soon.

I'm tired............ Zzzzz...

2008-02-22T08:23:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes, I'm a procrastinator. I said I would blog but I never bothered. xD

Anyways, I finished reading Hana Kimi and obviously, I cried at the end. *sniff* I liked Kare Kano more though, cause it was more emotional (I cried buckets in only the middle volumes) and depressing. Hahahahahahaha. I love emo stuff.

ACF 2008 is tomorrow, Kong ain't going, Bowie might not be going, and I might end up going by myself. *scared* I have to go to Lot 10 to collect my cd too and... I'm afraid. Hopefully, the girl will bring my cd and hopefully nothing will happen to me. I need somebody with me!!! T^T

There is no freaking way in hell I am going to wear a bikini even if it means not participating in the photoshoot. Sure... I'll be missing the chance to be published in an international modelling website but still... No is NO!

Besides, I'm underage anyway. I can't even participate in any of the pageants & photoshoots u guys organize because:
1. underage
2. transport problems
3. parental consent

My parents ain't keen on all this modelling stuff so... *sigh* I ain't so keen on it anymore either.

I shall take law and be a lawyer! XD XD XD (In my wildest dreams)

2008-02-19T03:28:00.000-08:00

Kyo wa ATSUUIIIII...!!! (Today is HOT!)

Other than dying of heat at home, I can't really think of anything else to post. It's too hot to even think. *sweats furiously*

ACF 2008 is this Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully I'll be able to meet my friends there, and that I can actually recognize them. Ha ha ha. I have bad memory.

Seriously, I don't know what to blog about. I just want to say it's hot hot hot hot HOT these past few weeks. It's pissing me off. Hmph!

Lastly, it's the season for spending again. I'm going to be broke soon. *cries*

2008-02-17T02:10:00.001-08:00

Something's wrong with my internet connection today. It's so slow and I can't even watch or download anything. Blaahhhhh...

I'm having trouble thinking what to cosplay next. Sometimes I just feel like quitting all these. Cosplay, lolita... It's really tiring sometimes. Having to face up to the public, getting stares and rude comments, people mistaking you for a 'lala' when the 'lalas' are the one that tarnished the image of us lolitas... It's really draining my strength away.

Besides, I've never actually found the perfect lolita dress. I've always had the ideal image in my head, the perfect dress that I'll someday own. But looking at all the lolita dresses I've seen, (and I've seen at least 300 dress designs already) I couldn't found the perfect one. All the dresses I own feels ugly and cheap somehow. It doesn't suit me the way I want it to.

You people must think I'm crazy. After all, what's in a dress? But owning that perfect dress has been a goal of mine. I'm a perfectionist so it's just the way I am.

Hehe. ^^"

I'm weird eh? I should probably move to Tanjung Rambutan soon.

Oh yeah, I broke my personal record for waking up today. Today, I woke up at... 2.40pm. XD

2008-02-16T00:42:00.000-08:00

Lovely Complex banzai~!! xD

Read it, watch it, I don't care but you must definitely do it! Kyaaaaaa! *fangirls*

Super short synopsis:
It's about a tall girl named Risa who falls in love with a short midget named Otani. Problems arise as their height difference and wacky attitudes get in the way of their blossoming relationship!

I'm hooked to reading online manga 24/7. My poor eyes are going blind I tell you. Blind! I'd probably end up wearing specs and looking like a real nerd soon.

*sigh*

2008-02-14T00:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Once again, I'm here, trying another sorry attempt at blogging. Since my last few blogs never worked out, I've decided to start anew with a new url.

Hopefully this blog will last throughout this whole year and if it really does, I'll call it an accomplishment.

*phew*

That's all for now. I'll update soon. Au revoir.

Information that some of you never knew:

Valentine's Day is actually a day for girls to give chocolate and presents to the boys and not the other way around. Boys are then supposed to return the favor by giving the girls gifts on White Day which falls on the 14th of March.